Front Matter - Part 10

“Please daughter, don’t cry. Your father is not abandoning you. He is sending you to a good home. Your father-in-law is a rich and respected member of society. You will have a mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, aunts, uncles… a family of forty members who will love you. The boy you are going to marry is a handsome young man. You will also be together with your sister Dolia. Dimitria praised this family well. Oh, my beautiful daughter...” said her mother, giving Dinka a hug. “Go now and get your things. Don’t worry about the gifts I will prepare them for you. And stop crying, the people are in a hurry and want to get going. The road is long and they don’t want to travel in the night. There are all sorts of thieves. I don’t want to worry about that too,” said her mother.

Dinka stopped crying, wiped the tears from her eyes and, with a sad tone of voice, said:

“Mother, they went over ten villages to look for a bride. What does that tell you about the groom? If he was a “worthy man” they wouldn’t be coming here on the other side of Prespa to look for a bride where no one knows him. Believe me, they knocked on many doors and were turned down before they came here. What do we know about this man?” Dinka then raised her voice and said: “I don’t want to go R’bi and I don’t want him. There are plenty of bachelors in Ezereni. When there are no more eligible bachelors here in Ezereni, then I will consider going outside of my community. You say they are rich, wealthy and have a good name? But tell me who ever died of starvation? Show me who stood in front of our door begging father to give them food? No one, that’s right, no one. Everybody works and is self-sufficient…”

Dinka leaned on the cupboard and tucked her hands under her apron. Doichinitsa came over to calm her down and said:

“Please dear daughter, don’t do this. Please don’t embarrass your father. Just go and get your things.” Dinka now began to cry aloud and stomped on the floor yelling: “I am not going! I don’t like him! I don’t know him! Get that through your thick heads! I will never marry him!”

Doichinitsa now could see that her daughter would not cooperate, would not obey her father and refused to honour her father’s agreement, for which he gave his word and received compensation.

Doichinitsa then got angry and began to yell at her. “Get going you bitch or I will call your father and God knows what he will do to you! He gave these people his word. I didn’t, so if you have a problem then go argue with him. And I can tell you this much; he is not going to take his word back, not for you not for anyone…” she said and set out to go to get Doichin. She then turned around and yelled: “Stop your crying! Do you think it was any better for me? I didn’t like it either when they engaged me to your father. I took fits, kicked and screamed like you are doing now but what good did that do me? I still married your father. That was the destiny chosen for me. Now this is your destiny…”

Dinka had never heard such harsh words come out of her mother’s mouth. They frightened her. She decided to obey her and said:

“I will give them my things but I will never go to R’bi. I will run away and marry another. I told you before and I will tell you again, I will not marry a man I have never seen before. I am not going to allow you to tell me who I should be living with, that is a decision for me to make.”

Dinka collected all her things, including the gifts, and took them to the room with the guests. Once again she kissed the guest’s hands and escorted them to the front yard. Dimitria took the bag with her gifts and hung it on his horse’s saddle and got on his horse. Once again they all took a drink from the wine jug, shook hands and left.

The sun was almost behind Galichitsa Mountain and it was going to get dark very soon. The distance from Ezereni to R’bi was about 30

km. They decided to ride their horses hard. They knew that traveling during the dark of night was risky because the roads were full of theives ready to rob travelers at gunpoint and sometimes kill them. They rushed as much as they could but, unfortunately, that did not help them.

Markova Noga was always a dangerous place and this time was no exception. A number of scoundrels must have seen our travelers rushing to make it by the pass and waited for them. Often they waited for hours for travelers to pass by so that they could ambush them. Then when the two travelers arrived at Markova Noga, they stopped about a hundred metres from the large stones hanging over the lakeshore. At that point their horses perked up their ears. They knew they were being watched. Dimitria said: “We need to go forward because if we turn back they will shoot us.”

They tightened the reins on their horses, kicked their heels and took a run forward. Upon reaching the large rocks two figures appeared in front of them pointing their rifle barrels at them. They ordered them to get off their horses and hold their hands up above their heads. If they didn’t they threatened to shoot them.

This place for centuries has been a nightmare for travelers and a heaven for thieves. People have died here. The robbers hid behind the stones and were difficult to spot until it was too late. The bodies of those killed were easy to dispose. They were tossed in the lake behind the rocks and carried away by the waves.

Prespa even has a legend around this place. A long time ago, during his lifetime, Marko Krale (King Marko) often went to Prespa to help his powerless people cope with the violence perpetrated against them by the Ottomans. One time he was invited to a wedding celebration in Prespa during which a bride was delivered from Liuboino to the Prespa villages via R’bi. When the wedding procession was returning with the bride and was about to pass by the large stones, it was attacked by a number of Muslims who tried to abduct the Christian bride. They didn’t know that Marko Krale was traveling with them. A violent scuffle broke out and the Muslims barely escaped with their lives. The abduction was prevented. According to the legend, Marko Krale was so powerful that when he

fought against the abductors he accidentally kicked one of the rocks and left a footprint in it. The legend also says that whenever Marko’s horse jumped it left hoof prints. Such prints exist in the large stones at Markova Noga (Marko’s foot). And that is how the place got its name.

As the two figures approached the travelers, they noticed that their faces were covered with mud. The travelers now realized that they were in danger and at risk of being robbed and harmed. Even though the travelers knew that every stone and every bush was a possible hiding place for robbers, still they were not discouraged or afraid. The travelers did not get off the horses or put their hands up, but sat on their horses until the robbers got close. Dimitria and Mitre both spoke Albanian and Dimitria, without being asked, spoke first, in Albanian. In a firm and commanding voice he said: “We are coming from Bitola and going to R’bi to see the Bey. We are close relatives of the Bey and he is expecting us for dinner.” Dimitria then reached into his saddlebag, pulled out a few coins and tossed them on the road in front of the robbers. He also asked them how long it would take to reach R’bi from there. The Albanian thugs were simple people from the villages and easy to fool. They were afraid of the Bey and did not want to anger him by robbing his people. They realized that only Albanians close to the Bey would dare to travel at night unarmed. The moment the robbers realized that they both quickly fled and did not take the money from the ground. R’bi from there was a short, fifteen minute horse ride, and the travelers made it unharmed.

Along the way Dimitria said to Mitre: “Look at these Albanians fools! They will take your life for a few coins.”

Kote had no idea what his big brothers Mitre and Dimitria had done for him and Dinka.

Like he did every day, this day too Kote got up early in the morning, rushed downstairs, splashed some water on his face and wiped it with his woolen towel. The friction from the rough towel made his face look red like a Prespa apple. Kote then grabbed his shepherd’s bag with bread and some onions for him and his father Sterio, which his mother had prepared for them, and some lumps of baked bran for

the dogs and, as usual, stretched his arm out and picked up his shepherd’s staff which he had made from a green branch himself. He then tossed his shepherd’s coat over his shoulder and off he went to the sheepfold. Kote’s father Sterio was a professional dairy farmer and a shepherd. Sterio has been a shepherd since he was a young boy. He enjoyed tossing his shepherd’s coat over his shoulder, carrying his shepherd’s staff and playing his flute while following the sheep in the grazing grounds all over the mountains. But now he was too old to travel over the mountains and spent his time in the sheepfold processing the milk. It was a new season now and Sterio has just started processing the first milk with which he made soft and hard cheese, butter and cottage cheese. That is why Kote’s mother only sent bread and onions for their meals; the sheepfold was going to provide the rest.

When Kote was 16 years old his family sent him on pechalba (migrant work) to Anadol (Anatolia) where he worked for 3 years carrying mud (mortar) for a couple of master builders. He worked every day, including Sundays and holidays, from morning till night and when the day was done he was responsible for cleaning and washing the tools, hammers and trowels, as well as the pans where the mud was mixed. He was also sent from house to house, with a bag over his shoulder, begging people to give him bread for himself and for the master builders. When Kote returned home after the 3 years, he had saved 10 gold coins. During the evening on the day that Kote returned home, there were ten elderly men sitting at the dining room table waiting for Petre to finish eating so that they could start eating. The moment Petre declared that he was done eating Kote took out his gold coins and placed them on the table. Petre was the oldest member in the family of forty. He was 80 years old. He took the gold coins and put them in his oilcloth wallet which he carried around his neck. He then stood up, kissed Kote on the forehead and said God bless you. The next day Petre went to the Bey and with the 10 gold coins purchased a field for the family.

Petre’s family was large and consisted of brothers, cousins, sons, wives and grandchildren. Petre was in charge of all family affairs. He made all the schedules and decisions each day of who was going to work and where. Some family members were assigned to permanent jobs, like Sterio who was in charge of managing 250

head of sheep. Spiro was in charge of managing the fishing. Spiro spent his entire life fishing the lakes. Iovan had 3 horses under his care and was responsible for providing firewood for the family. In the summer when the grains were harvested Iovan was in charge of collecting, processing and securing the harvest. Several of the men were ploughmen and did the plowing and sowing. They also harvested the grass and hay from the meadows. Petre’s family was well-organized and all the jobs were done quickly and efficiently. The barns were full of grain and straw and the vats were packed with cheese, and every day the fisherman brought baskets of fresh fish into the house. This family had more than enough to eat and to take to market in Bitola. Petre’s family was a powerful family which the Albanians did not dare touch.

Petre had about a dozen or so young men and just as many young women in his family. During the winter when the nights were long and there was no field work to be done, Petre gathered all his grandchildren after dinner in the large room and had them sing songs and dance for him. Sterio was always available to play his bagpipes, even though he was old. Sometimes Petre joined his grandchildren in a dance showing them how it was done. Petre took great care of his family, defending its honour, its faith and its Macedonian identity.

One winter when it was time to make the rakia (brandy), a lot of snow had fallen. The family members struggled through knee-high snow delivering water from the river to the boiler. They each carried pots full of water through the village, passing by the bar frequented by the Bey’s gendarmes who often played cards and ogled the young ladies passing by. This time they were ogling Petre’s granddaughters and tossing wicked words at them. The moment Petre found out about this he ordered the boiling to stop. The next day he ordered his boys to dig up a well in his own yard. The well was dug the same day and when it filled with water he resumed the boiling of his rakia. He had his boys and girls take buckets of water from the well and supply the boiler uninterrupted.

When the Sveti Iovan Prespanski (St. John of Prespa) monastery was being renovated, at Goritsa Hill in R’bi, Petre appointed Giorgia in charge of delivering stones and water to the master builders. He

was to use his wagon and work for the duration of the project. Petre also initiated the move of Tsar Samoil’s tombstone from the “Prechista” (Virgin Mary) church in R’bi, where it had rested for centuries, to the Sveti Iovan Prespanski monastery, and to have it placed at the front door of the church.

Like every day before, this day too Kote shepherded his sheep on top of Ilia Hill while practicing playing his father’s bagpipes. This day he returned home late. He went down the street and under the window of Blaguna’s house. Every night Kote took the same path home and passed under Blaguna’s house where she waited for him. Kote loved Blaguna and without her, he felt, his life would be empty. No one asked Kote what he wanted. Petre together with the older men decided everything about the family. Kote passed under Blaguna’s window and saw her waiting for him near the window. After looking at one another for a long time Kote left and headed home.

He opened the big gate in the front yard and went inside. To his surprise, sitting in the courtyard were Petkana, Stefana, Giurgia and the other young girls and brides, all holding gifts, candy and bunches of basil wrapped with red yarn. They were all dressed in their finest and colourful dresses. When Kote saw the gifts he approached Petkana and said: “Whose turn is it this time? It must be yours... Congratulations Petkana, and may I be next...”

Petkana took Kote’s hand, squeezed it and said: “Great. You are back. All these gifts are for you. All you need to do now is find some paitoni (passenger carriages); you will be taking us all to Ezereni (Dinka’s village).” Kote turned red in the face and said: “What Ezereni? Where is it? It certainly must be in the lake somewhere?” (The word ezero in Macedonian means lake.)

“Ah, but they found you a bride, a very beautiful girl…” added Giurgia. “All you have to do now is hire the carriages so that you can take us all there because without carriages they will not receive you there.”

“What do I need the carriages for if the place is inside the lake?” asked Kote. “Don’t you think I will need boats?”

“No!” replied Stefana, “The village is near Resen and the bride will be delivered over land. And when she does she will change you. She will toss away your village clothes and dress you in city clothing. And then, who is going to shepherd the sheep?”

“Please Stefana, leave me alone and don’t tease me. What makes you think a city woman would even want me, a shepherd? A city woman wants to stay home, how am I going to convince her to work in the fields?” Petkana and Stefana took Kote by his hands and together they went inside the house and had a great celebration.

Late at night when the celebration was over, Kote lay down on his bed and tried to sleep. He just dropped into his bed without taking off his clothes or socks. His sweaty and unwashed socks became glued to his feet and they stunk. But he was accustomed to the bad smell and was not even aware that he stunk. He closed his eyes and began to imagine what Dinka might look like and what kind of person she might be. She would be beautiful and dressed in city clothes, of course, like Stefana had said. But not having seen Dinka and imagining that she would be a well dressed woman, frightened Kote and made him feel like a peasant. He said to himself: “When she sees me dressed like a peasant she won’t like me…” He tossed the bedcover off himself and flipped over in his bed. His strong heart began to hammer like a church bell. What will I do if she really dislikes my peasant clothes, like Stefana said? Stefana would not lie to me. This is probably what Mitre told her. Mitre saw her, I am sure he did. “How will it look when she is wearing beautiful city clothes on our wedding day and I wear peasant’s clothes? People will be looking at me like I am some kind of bear?” Kote thought to himself. When she goes to the spring to get water everyone will come out to look at her in her city clothes. Kote had difficulty getting around the idea that a city woman was even capable of living in a village like his and accepting to live with a family with so many people under one roof. Well she could wear her city dress for a while, and seeing so many girls in this house wear their village clothes, she could get used to that but what if she can’t or doesn’t know how to work in the fields? Then what do we do? Nothing! Nothing, thought Kote to himself. He pondered for a while and then he thought, I am a man and I will not allow her to wear city clothes

here because we have our own dresses and she will wear our clothes. She will dress like our women and will go to the fields like our women go and if she doesn’t know how to work, she will learn. Petkana, Giurgia and Stefana did not know how to work but they learned. Kote uncovered himself, wiped the sweat off his forehead and went back to bed and tried to sleep.

Kote squeezed his eyes and struggled to sleep but he couldn’t. There was Dinka in front of him dressed in her city clothing and the two were walking in the bazaar in Resen. Then he lost her because he loved Blaguna, whom he had known for so many years. He imagined himself standing in front of her door and saying: “I am sorry my dear Blaguna, it’s not my fault; no one asked me what I wanted. Last evening after I passed under your windows I went home and I found out from Petkana, Giurgia and Stefana that I would be marrying someone else. And now who would dare go in front of Petre and say that I don’t want Dinka and that I want you Blaguna, because I am in love with you? As I recall Mitre wanted Mara for his wife many years ago, but Petre himself went to Grazheno and married him to someone else. I will bring who I decide to bring into my home Petre told him. Mitre jumped up and down for a while but then settled down...” Kote tossed and turned all night long and did not fall asleep until dawn. Then his mother woke him up. “Get up,” she called out, “its daylight and you are expected at the sheepfold. Your father is waiting for you to bring him his bread and take the sheep out to pasture!”

That day Kote took the sheep high up on the hill and spent the entire day looking towards Resen. He looked at the many villages, but which was Ezereni he did not know. He spent many sleepless nights thinking about Dinka and Blaguna and took his sheep high on the hill looking at the Resen villages. Then, during the evenings when he returned home, Petkana, Stefana and Giurgia teased him about the clothes he would wear in comparison to Dinka’s beautiful city clothes and what he would look like compared to her when they got married. “But should you decide to wear city clothes yourself,” they said to him, “you will need to become literate.” Kote was not angry with his cousins because he knew they were only joking. One time when Kote returned from looking after the sheep he was carrying his

shepherd’s staff over his shoulder. Petkana saw him and yelled out: “Hey you, no city people allowed here!”

Kote started to become more self-conscious and began to groom himself better and wear better clothes. He started washing himself with soap and wiping his face with a cotton towel. Petkana then took it upon herself to set him straight and told him that when he goes to the “city” he should not lower himself beneath the others.

Petre wanted to have Kote’s wedding on Mitrovden because by then all the field work would be done and the wine and rakia would be ready. And once it was decided, Petre sent Mitre to Ezereni to inform Doichin and start making the wedding arrangements. Mitre was also asked to go to Resen and order several carriages to carry the wedding procession, and to Bitola to buy rings for the bride and groom as well as buckles, necklaces and other necessities required for the wedding. Kote wanted to go with Mitre, at least to Ezereni, to see Dinka but no one asked what Kote wanted.

Dinka sent the people who came to engage her to Kote in kindness, leading them to believe that it was a done deal but she did all this against her own will. Her mother, Doichinitsa, understood her dilemma but was powerless to help her. When they returned home after having said goodbye to Dimitia and Mitre, they were both in tears. Doichinitsa could see that her daughter was heartbroken and was terribly sad, but still she could not help her because it was her father’s decision. Her father had engaged her against her will and had given her to a man she did not know. Dimitria’s word alone was not enough for Dinka to be convinced that this was a good idea. Also, many times she had made it clear to her mother that she was not going to R’bi to marry a man whom she did not know. This engagement for Dinka was unacceptable. She told her mother that she was going to run away and elope with Martin and to cancel the engagement. She did not want them to think that she was going to go though with this. Doichin unfortunately was a man of his word and had difficulty with all this. He had always told her to look where her bread was buttered and not fall for the glitter.

Dinka finally decided to elope with Martin. She placed some clothes in a bag and waited until it was dark. She was expecting Martin to

pass by the small gate at her house and whistle a couple of times. When she heard the whistle she was to exit by the small gate and follow him. Doichinitsa suspected that her daughter was up to something and kept an eye on her. Then at the crucial moment, just before Dinka was about to exit the gate, Doichinitsa caught her and ruined her plans. Mother and daughter fought bitterly. Dinka decided that she did not want to live any more, left the house, ran and jumped into the lake in an attempt to drown. Doichinitsa and her brother Eftim ran after her. Eftim jumped into the lake and pulled her out. They brought her home in a wagon. Given what had just happened, Doichin relented a little and told her that he would return the money and cancel the engagement.

Early in the morning Mitre and Dimitria got on their horses and followed the road to Ezereni and Resen. They met Eftim at the Nakolets meadows. The two men got off their horses, shook hands with Eftim, crossed over the meadows, pulled out their boxes of tobacco, wrapped their cigarettes and lit them. The horses were left to graze on the green grass in the meadows. At this point Dimitria asked Eftim where he was headed with a bag over his shoulder on foot.

Eftim was headed for R’bi but did not know the way and kept asking everyone he ran into which way to go. In answering Dimitria’s question, Eftim said he was headed for R’bi to return the money and cancel Dinka’s engagement. Dinka doesn’t want to get married he said. Eftim told the two men that she had been crying for a whole week and that his father had sent him to return everything and cancel the engagement. Dimitria listened calmly and when Eftim was done talking he said: “Get up and come with us, we will be having a wedding this Mitrovden and Dinka will know what is good and what is not good for her.”

This is what Dimitria said and the three continued on their way to Ezereni.

In the early dawn on Mitrovden the godfather sharpened his razor on the fat belt, soaped up Kote and shaved the few hairs on his face. Petkana, Giurgia, Stefana and all the others sat around the groom and sang wedding songs. Petkana then brought the copper canteen

with warm water and poured it for Kote to wash his face. At that point Petkana teasingly said: “Now Kote, I will be seeing you in the “city” with those “city folk, eh?” Smiling Kote replied: “Yes you see me there Petkana, and they too will see me there…” A few minutes later several carriages left R’bi with the groom and the wedding guests and headed down the road towards Ezereni.

It was a 30 kilometre long trip but the panoramic view was beautiful and Kote was very excited. This was the first time he had ever ridden in such a carriage. The horses were dressed for a wedding procession and were wearing sparkly yellow bells that clattered as the horses moved. All the time Kote thought of Dinka. Will she be as beautiful as Mitre described her? Will she be more beautiful than Blaguna? How will she look wearing her wedding dress? These thoughts worried him and from time to time made him nervous. The younger wedding guests pretended to be drunk. They raised their empty wine jugs up high, pretended to drink and sang wedding songs. The music band and bagpipers played along all the way. The young children in the villages they passed kept waving their little arms.

The carriages with the wedding guests arrived at Ezereni and a big door opened wide for the wedding guests and for the groom to enter the courtyard. All the wedding guests from the bride’s side ran forward to see and greet the groom. Several young men with white towels over their shoulders encircled the carriages and welcomed the wedding guests. Some took the horses and escorted them under the porch and gave them hay and water.

Kote was dressed up in his brand new suit, especially tailored for him for his wedding by his uncle Risto. He looked very handsome. When he came out of the carriage the assembled wedding guests who were waiting to see him were in awe; their breath was taken away. Dinka’s friends marveled at him, thinking how fortunate Dinka must be to be marrying such a handsome boy. One of them said: “Take me, take me, I will go with you.” Kote was handsome and appealing and could have carried off any one of those girls.

The in-laws sat at the long head table. Petre and Doichin were given the customary pogacha (large circular loaf of bread) which they

were required to pull apart and break. The men each struggled to get a bigger piece. That was the tradition. Both sides of the in-laws were cheering for their own side as the two men wrestled the big bread. The brothers-in-law took the bag of bridal gifts and went towards the house to distribute them. As is the tradition, they were stopped at the door by the residents and, after some bartering, the brothers-in-law each paid a penny and the door was opened for them to enter.

Dinka’s eyes were wet with tears. She was dressed in her bridal dress but she was doing this against her will. After one of her friends saw Kote, she rushed over to see her and said: “Dinka take off your wedding dress and give it to me, I will take your place, I will marry Kote. Don’t cry, you can marry Martin and stay her in Ezereni. I don’t much care for Ezereni. But I do care who I marry and I want to marry Kote and spend my life with him.” When Dinka heard her friend say this she was shocked and did not know how to respond. “What are you waiting for, take off your dress!” demanded her friend. “Give it to me so that I can become a bride. I will take your place…”

Her friend’s words gave Dinka some hope. And now, suddenly, this same Dinka who cried all this time and wanted to run away with Martin, and who had almost taken her own life, was about to face the kind of man she always wanted and with whom she would immediately fall in love. Dinka now wanted to see Kote for herself with her own eyes.

A large pogacha was set on a table in the courtyard and in its centre the women imbedded a glass full of wine. Then all the bride’s closest relatives were invited to sit around the table. They each placed a coin in the wine glass, causing the wine to overflow. And while this was going on they were serenaded by the bagpipers and surrounded by the village bachelors who broke into a dance encircling the table. One by one the bride placed a gift on the shoulder of each of her relatives. The Koum (godfather/best man) picked up the wine glass and placed it in the bride’s hand. Some of the coins were allowed to spill out and the little children rushed to pick them up. The Koum pulled a special coin out of his pocket and gifted the bride. She kissed his hand and was again serenaded by the bagpipers who now were playing the song “Kierka od maika se deli”

(Daughter separating from her mother). The Koum then ordered the bride to sit in the carriage while the in-laws clinked their wine glasses toasting her. The carriage left for R’bi.

All of Petre’s friends in the various villages that the wedding party passed through came out to the road and toasted the wedding. Some followed the procession singing songs and drinking wine until it reached R’bi.

It was a long and winding road from Ezereni to R’bi, winding around the coast of Lake Prespa. On this seemingly endless road the carriage was carrying Dinka, who sat in the centre, Kote sat beside her on one side and Kote Germanski, Kote’s pobratim (blood brother) sat next to her on the other side. It was a long and silent ride. It was an endless ride. Dinka sat there quietly wondering which Kote was the groom. The band played song after wedding song, as Dinka watched the calm waters of Lake Prespa. There were countless birds all along the coast and inside the water and sometimes they flew off, being startled by the music, causing ripples in the water. No matter what the band played, there was no song that could cheer Dinka. Her heart was now tight. She was feeling terrible. She was struggling to determine which Kote was going be her husband. She cautiously kept her eye on both of them under her veil and often thought to herself: “Perhaps he is the one on my right, or perhaps he is the one on my left…” She could not figure out which one.

For thirty kilometres Dinka kept peeking under her veil looking at Kote and his blood-brother trying to guess which one was the groom and hoping it would be the better looking of the two. She thought to herself: “If the better looking one is him I will be the happiest girl in the world.” She couldn’t help herself but turn her eyes towards the fairer Kote, without being seen, of course. She had fallen in love with him but at the same time she felt uneasy. She thought to herself: “What am I going to do if he is not the one, if he is the other one, then I would be the unhappiest girl in the world.” She gained a bit of courage when she thought about what her girlfriend had told her. “If it’s not the better looking one,” she thought, “why would my friend want to take him away from me? Do we see them differently? Do we have different tastes in boys?” She took out her handkerchief

and wiped the tears from her eyes. Kote too kept secretly looking at her but Dinka’s veil was covering her face and he didn’t have much luck seeing her. Only if he was alone with her in the carriage he would have lifted the veil and would have taken a peek. Not knowing what she looked like was also causing him some grief. But then he thought: “I always wanted a woman like Dinka and I am wondering what I saw in Blaguna to have loved her for so many years. I am a lucky man to have Dinka.” And in thinking that he already forgot that he had not yet seen her face. The horses picked up the pace. It seemed like they were moving downhill.

Standing on the road at Goritsa, about two kilometres away from R’bi, were a number of young bachelors and unmarried girls waiting to see the bride who they expected would be dressed in city clothing. But Dinka was not dressed in the type of clothing these boys and girls, including Kote, were led to believe, and neither was she wearing woolen village clothing the type worn by the brides in R’bi. She was wearing a jerkin (sleeveless jacket). The carriage carrying the bride stopped under the large mulberry tree at the entrance to R’bi. The bride’s mother-in-law placed a white towel on top of the bride’s head and kissed the bride on the forehead. All the carriages then stopped in front of the church door and everyone, including the bride, got off. There were many people waiting for them to arrive, who then joined them inside the church. When Dinka got off the carriage and first stepped on the ground, she crossed herself and thought: “I am going to be very lucky if the fairer one is my husband. Otherwise I don’t want to live.”

The wedding ceremony was performed by a priest named Dimitri and he did a fantastic job following tradition. First he took Kote and asked him to get his bride and place her next to him!

Kote took Dinka by the hand and placed her between his blood-brother and the Koum. When Kote took Dinka’s hand, Dinka’s body shivered and she felt like the happiest girl in the world. Her heart began to beat fast and she was full of joy. She then began to cry thinking to herself: “I will you love him, I will love him with all my heart. I will love him for a lifetime. I will love his mother, the woman who gave birth to him. I will be his forever. I will love

everyone who looked after him. I will love my sister Dolia who was the reason why I came to R’bi.”

She then began to question her past decisions, wondering why she had behaved so irrationally. “Why did I cry all this time and cause so much grief for my parents? Why did I create so much friction between them and cause them to fight and not talk to one another for weeks?” This is what Dinka was thinking all during the wedding ceremony.

The wedding reception was conducted in the village square. A long table was set up with all sorts of food on it. Carpets were placed on the ground for the guests to sit on and in the centre of each carpet was a sofra (low lying table). And while most guests were sitting down the bride and groom were standing up at the lower end of the long table.

The Koum sat at the head of the table. In front of him was a large baked eel, wound all around in a large pan. The entire table was covered with a variety of roasted meats to which the guests helped themselves. The servers wore white towels on their shoulders and constantly filled the jugs with wine and passed them on to the guests.

The Koum pulled out a white handkerchief from his pocket, spread it open on the table, pulled out his oilcloth wallet from around his neck, took out a lira (gold coin), dropped it on top of the kerchief and said: “Congratulations and may this union be fruitful.” All the guests then congratulated the couple and they too blessed the union. Then each took out their wallet and made their donations by dropping coins on the same kerchief.

When everyone had made their donation, the Koum counted the money, tied the ends of the kerchief together, got up and went over and gave it to groom. The bride then kissed the Koum’s hand. After that the Koum took Kote by the arm and led him in a dance. The bride followed and after the bride followed Petkana, Stefana, Giurgia and the other cousins. The Koum led the first dance. The first dance is always the most popular dance which attracts almost everyone.

When the Koum had his fill of dancing and declared he had had enough, everyone headed for Kote’s house. The helpers and a number of other men picked up the big table with the food on it, raised it over their shoulders and carried it home. The rest of the helpers collected the tables and carpets and also took them home.

When the bride entered Kote’s courtyard both doors of the front gate were flung open. When they arrived at the front of the house, fifteen young children came out to greet them. The bride gave each child a pair of socks.

The mother-in-law (Kote’s mother) also came out of the house and with one hand balanced the pogacha (large circular loaf of bread) and with the other she gave out candy and neblebi (roasted chickpeas). She circled the newlyweds three times and whispered something. The bride then took out a white handkerchief from her pocket, which was filled with candy and tossed the candy towards the guests. Everyone scattered to get some. The bride then crossed the door’s threshold, kicked the jug of wine blocking the way and entered the house. At the same time two men stood in her way holding a yoke which she passed under.

More people arrived during the evening and joined the wedding celebration. Most were guests from the surrounding villages.

The younger men were responsible for looking after the bride and groom and the guests. They were responsible for delivering the food and drinks to the guests. Then after dinner was served the bride and groom were allowed to leave the table and go to the room especially prepared for them, as was the tradition. The young men were expected to guard the room.

The bed in the room was made. Dinka began to undress herself and was left only with her undergarments. Kote too got undressed and went closer to Dinka, looked at the face and eyes, hugged and kissed her and they both sat on the bed. They again hugged and kissed and hugged and turned it into a love game that lasted more than an hour.

But after an hour had passed the young men (sworn brothers) began to worry. Perhaps it was something to do with the bride’s honour? One of them knocked on the door. Kote and Dinka got up, dressed and opened the door. The sworn brothers entered the room and demanded to see the bride’s gown. Kote gave them the gown which had blood on it. Satisfied, they immediately called some of the closest relatives to also see it. It was rare that a bride in Prespa was not a virgin but if she wasn’t, the next day she would be put on a donkey and sent back to her father. When dinner was over and all the guests had eaten the newlyweds came out of the room and went to the reception hall where they joined the Koum.

Immediately after they came back, the Koum grabbed Kote by the arm and took him to the dance floor. His bride followed. And though Petre was old, he too joined the dance and so did everyone else present and they all began to dance. They hung a large cowbell around Sterio’s neck and hung garlands of onions, peppers and strings of small bells on the others. They took the mother-in-laws head kerchief and set it on fire. More food was brought to the table, including baked eel, roasted lamb, honey, apples and more. Another table was set with jugs of wine and rakia. The godfather became stern and took a rope out and said he would hang the cooks if he didn’t get what he ordered. He ordered them to make him baked beans and take them to the village square. The sworn brothers brought him the beaked beans which they had roasted on a spit. That made him very happy and he ordered the celebration to move to the village square where it continued until dawn.