Front Matter - Part 05

“I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other for so long. I’m guilty of that. Whatever I tell you is no justification for me not visiting you,” replied Vera.

“It’s good that you are modest. I was aiming to scold you for not visiting us. Your sister also hasn’t come to visit us. You both have forgotten us,” said her uncle.

“We could forget everyone else but never you. We always have you in our thoughts… Sometimes we don’t want to bother you, other times we are busy with various things,” said Vera convincingly.

“There is no excuse but let’s leave it at that. Why did you want to see me so urgently?” Uncle Slobodan asked her with a tone of curiosity in his voice.

“I wanted to talk to you about my brother Rade. It seems to me he’s too tired working on two jobs; building his house and working at the police station. It wouldn’t be a bad idea if he took some time off to rest a little,” said Vera with a tone of concern in her voice.

“Working on two jobs is a problem! Consider it tidied up!” replied her uncle.

“Unfortunately he won’t listen to me or to our mother,” complained Vera.

“If he doesn’t want to stop working at both jobs it means that it hasn’t been that difficult for him,” replied her uncle.

“Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to be aware that he has a problem,” said Vera anxiously.

“You shouldn’t worry too much, it could be an exaggeration…” said Vera hesitantly and then cautiously added:

“It seems to me that it isn’t just about fatigue, but about a certain disorder…”

“Come on, don’t mince words with me! Tell me what you’ve actually seen. If he has a disorder then something should be done immediately. I have a friend who is a psychiatrist. We’ll figure something out somehow,” replied her uncle.

“He seems to be haunted by some kind of fear. He doesn’t separate himself from his gun even when he sleeps. He thinks someone is following him all the time and that someone wants to kill him. He believes that there is a conspiracy against him at work…” said Vera speaking fast.

Her uncle suddenly turned very serious. All the serenity on his face disappeared.

“Where is Rade now?” he asked anxiously.

“He just left for work. He’ll be at work until the morning,” replied Vera.

Slobodan immediately contacted Rade’s senior superior on the telephone.

“Release Rade, my nephew, from work tonight,” Vera heard her uncle say in a categorical tone of voice. “Tell him that his uncle is waiting for him at Vera’s place. I need him to help me with something. Tell him to take a taxi.”

Fifteen minutes later Rade arrived. He looked terrified.

“What is it Uncle, what happened? Were you threatened by someone?” asked Rade frantically.

“Come on Rade don’t talk nonsense. I haven’t wronged anyone. Who would want to hurt me? Anyway, that doesn’t matter now. I just came to see your sister and decided to scold her for not coming to visit us. But something went wrong. I had some difficulty breathing. That’s why I asked for you. To take me home so I wouldn’t have to drive alone. But now I feel much better, whatever it was it seems to have passed,” replied his uncle trying hard to sound convincing.

“Are you sure you’re okay now? Seriously, tell me... if not, let’s call a doctor,” said Rade looking and sounding upset.

“The crisis is over, at least for now. Don’t worry. I have as many doctors as you want. How far along are you with your house? I’ll pass by one of these days to see it,” said Slobodan trying to sound convincing.

“To tell you the truth, I’m tired of it all…” admitted Rade.

“Why are you rushing… what’s the hurry? Take a break for a while. Let’s go hunting one of these days soon, at our usual government hunting ground. Why don’t you let me take you with me,” said his uncle.

Rade couldn’t believe what his uncle was proposing.

There’s no place for me among the government higher-ups!” I don’t want to be a bother.

“Don’t talk nonsense. You’re my nephew!” said Slobodan and hugged him.

“I’ve heard that it can be dangerous on those hunting grounds. If someone wants to kill you all they have to do is fire a bullet and say it was an accident, or you were hit by a stray bullet...” said Rade.

“Now you’re beginning to worry me. Where, in God’s name, did ever hear of such a thing? Do you really believe such things could happen?” replied his uncle.

“It’s irrelevant whether I believe in such things or not, you, Uncle, need to be careful. How many days do you go hunting?” asked Rade nervously while moving his hands. It seemed like Rade didn’t know what to do with his hands.

“We hunt for a week, sometimes more,” replied his uncle.

“Sorry, there’s no way I can leave my house or my job for that length of time,” said Rade firmly.

“Don’t worry about your job at the service; I’ll take care of that. As for the house, if I were you I’d leave it for a while. Unless you plan to get married soon? Tell us Vera, is there something like that in the works?” asked their uncle.

“I don’t know anything about that. If he has a girlfriend he is keeping it a secret. He hasn’t said anything to me,” said Vera with restraint. She didn’t want to reveal anything about this meeting.

Their uncle looked away seeming like he was thinking of something else.

“Did you use up your vacation last year?” he asked Rade.

“No, not all of my vacation,” answered Rade quickly, trying to understand why his uncle would be asking such a question.

“Then let’s go to the village for a while. I haven’t been there for a long time. My breathing difficulty tonight hit me hard. I think I need some rest so it doesn’t come back. I need to leave the city for a while and get away from the dirty air,” said his uncle.

Rade was silent. He was aware that he couldn’t refuse his uncle.

“When would you want to go? asked Rade.

“Be back home early in the morning, don’t go to the building site. I’ll call you. My driver will take us there,” replied his uncle.

“What do I do with the workers?” asked Rade hesitatingly.

“I’ll send someone to tell them to take a few days off. Let’s go home now. I’ll drive you,” replied his uncle.

No, Uncle, since you’re not well... I’ll drive you to your home and then I’ll go home by taxi,” said Rade.

“Don’t worry about me; your uncle is an old wolf, seasoned in the mountains. Made of steel. And I really feel much better now,” replied his uncle.

Rade obediently left with his uncle. Vera wanted to glance at her uncle and show him how grateful she was for doing this but she didn’t dare. She didn’t want to tip Rade off about their plan.

Just as they walked out of the door Vera yelled, “Tell mom to call me, I need her recipe, I want to make a cake.”

“Who is the lucky person for whom you’re making a cake?” asked Slobodan jokingly.

“I promised my co-workers I would make them one and since then they’ve been asking for it, they won’t leave me alone. Say hello to everyone at home, Uncle. And please take care of your health,” replied Vera.

“Good night, Vera. I look forward to your visit soon,” yelled her uncle as they walked into the elevator.

Early the next morning a car horn was heard blowing under Rade’s window. He thought he was dreaming. Who is this fool blowing his car horn this early in the morning? he thought. But when he heard it a second time he jumped out of bed and looked outside. It was his uncle’s car. He couldn’t believe it was him. He got dressed fast and ran. His mother ran into him in the hallway and, with a surprised look and concern, asked him where he was running off to so early in the morning? Not only hadn’t he said anything to her about seeing his uncle the night before, but now he barely answered her.

“I’m going with my uncle,” he blurted out fast and bolted past her.

His mother looked through the window and watched Rade get into the car fast. Just as he got in it left. She recognized the car, it was Slobodan’s. But why did Rade have to hide this from her? Were they going somewhere together? she wondered. She had no idea what was going on so she immediately called Vera on the telephone.

“All I know is that last night they agreed to go for a walk. Maybe they’re going to the village…?” said Vera calmly.

“To the village? Why didn’t he tell me? I would have gone with them…” replied her mother loudly.

“Mom, the whole idea was for Rade to take a break from everything,” said Vera sounding annoyed.

“You mean to tell me that he wanted to take a break from me?” her mother reacted insultingly.

“Stop talking like that!” Vera scolded her.

“Okay then, okay, I’m never right... How long will they stay? A day, two? Or will they return this evening?” asked her mother Stefka.

“I don’t know, they didn’t tell me anything about it...” said Vera.

“You, how did you find out where they were going?” asked Stefka. She wanted to know everything.

“Last night I called Rade to come over to my place after work. I then called our uncle to come over without Rade’s knowledge. I mentioned to him that Rade was exhausted. Our uncle arrived before Rade. In fact, our uncle asked his superiors to send him to my place because our uncle needed something from him. When Rade arrived our uncle intended to tell him that he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to ask Rade to drive him home in his car. Fortunately, he’s better now,” said Vera giving her mother all the details.

Why did they decide to go to the village? It’s worse in the village, especially if they find out that your brother has health problems?” said Stefka anxiously.

“You, again thinking of the worst. Do you think that our uncle will allow things to get worse? I was surprised last night when our uncle suggested this to Rade, but I didn’t want to interfere. Our uncle told Rade thst he needed to go to the village. Then he convinced Rade that he would feel better if Rade went with him. He told Rade he didn’t want to be left alone in the village. Rade didn’t seem to be happy about it but agreed to go with him. I didn’t expect it would happen the next day. Who knows how many things our uncle had to leave unattended so that he could take Rade to the village right away for a well-deserved rest,” replied Vera with great respect for her uncle.

“You shouldn’t have said anything to your uncle about Rade’s health, you shouldn’t have emphasized how bad it was,” said Stefka worriedly.

“Why not? His health isn’t good, is it? The sooner action is taken, the better. For that kind of condition it’s sometimes too late,” answered Vera feeling a bit insulted.

Stefka was silent for a while. Vera figured that she was very worried about her children. First about Dushitsa and now about Rade who had also been threatened by a bad illness.

“Let’s get off the telephone Mom, we’ve been on it for a long time, they will criticize me at work,” said Vera reminding her mother that she was at work.

“Call me…” replied Stefka in a sad tone of voice.

Vera heard her hang up the handset. She knew how hard it was for her, but how could she help her?

“Uncle, did we make a mistake and take the wrong road?” asked Rade when he noticed that they hadn’t taken the road leading out of city but had taken a road that circled around the suburbs.

His uncle laughed out loud.

“What do you think your uncle is, drunk? Come on admit it that’s what you thought. Or maybe you thought it’s too early for him to be drunk therefore he must be upset over something, right? Don’t worry I’m only going to a friend to get something to take with me,” replied his uncle.

Shortly afterwards, they stopped in front of a mid-sized house. One of the better houses of the pre-war buildings. His uncle got out of the car and rang the doorbell. A man about Slobodan’s age stuck his head out of a window upstairs. His uncle asked him to open the door so that they could go inside. After some time the door was opened and they went inside. Drinks, sweets, coffee and juices were immediately brought by a young girl and placed on the table.

“Who’s the young man?” asked the man of the house. “Did you bring a body guard with you?”

His uncle smiled and said, “Yes I did…” shortly afterwards he said, “This young man is my brother’s son. He works for the security services.”

“I’m fighting against serious criminals,” said Rade quickly like he was out of breath.

“Is there such a thing in socialism?” asked the man of the house jokingly. Rade had no idea who he was or what his function in society was.

“What socialism! If you were with us in the police services you would think that every second person was a thief, a murderer... There are many of them. Neither the prisons nor the correctional facilities can help them. There are many hardened criminals; they wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in you or to knife you. They would slaughter you like a lamb if they got their chance. They wouldn’t

blink an eye. There are all kinds in there. It’s like they weren’t born from mothers. Like they sprouted in the dumps,” said Rade with ferocity. He was out of breath when he was done and his face flushed like embers. He took out a handkerchief and wiped his face, instinctively feeling like he was sweating.

“It’s true that we who are far away from them aren’t so aware of that,” said the man of the house. “But don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little?” he added in a low tone of voice.

“You sound just like my mother. Am I exaggerating if I tell you that someone follows me every night? This person or people lurk behind me everywhere I go with aims at liquidating me? But I won’t give up so easily. That’s why I carry a fully loaded gun? If there aren’t more than two, they won’t succeed! I’m ready for them and if they attempt an ambush I’ll shoot them without blinking an eye,” replied Rade.

“Okay, enough of this nonsense!” interrupted his uncle. “I’m sure people like that run away from you like the devil from incense. It’s clear to them that if they attack you they won’t survive. They too don’t want to die, don’t worry. Let’s get going.”

They said goodbye to his uncle’s friend and got up, ready to leave. Before leaving, the man of the house took a folder from the other room, where he had been for a while, handed it to Slobodan and they left.

“Why are you silent, Rade?” asked his uncle a while later. By then they were halfway to the village.

“Going back several years… There’s something that bothers me a lot... I want to ask you about it but I don’t want you to be angry with me,” said Rade.

“Do you think that I could be angry with you? No, not if you don’t overdo it!” replied Slobodan with a laugh.

“No. I hope not,” said Rade in a loud voice.

“Then speak freely, let me hear what weighs on you,” replied his uncle trying to loosen him up.

Rade waited for a long time before he spoke, as if looking for the right words. Then he sighed and in a half-choked voice asked:

“Did you know that they were going to arrest and jail Milan? And that it was going to happen exactly on the night of the engagement?” asked Rade with great pain in his voice. Rade not only had difficulty uttering those words but at the same time he was afraid of what his uncle would say. What if he reacted negatively?

His uncle didn’t turn his head towards Rade at all. As if he’d been waiting for that question to be asked for a long time.

“Yes! I knew!” replied Slobodan rather quickly and coldly.

Rade couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could his uncle, his father’s brother, be so cold.

“Why then did you allow us to invite all those guests? Why did you expose us to shame and humiliation, something that could have been avoided? Dushitsa didn’t have to experience that terrible shock…” said Rade excitedly.

“First, I shouldn’t even be telling you this, even if I was dead, regardless of the fact that we are so close to each other. Second, what would have happened if I had allowed Milan’s arrest to take place, even a few days later? Would that have been easier for your sister? Would it have been easier for her to experience this after they were already engaged or married? And third, the whole family would have had a noose around their necks for life. There would have been no house, no job for any of you and it wouldn’t have been good for me either. No matter how terrible the blow was for your sister, that her loved one suddenly left her, this other thing she would have had to face would have been worse,” said Slobodan speaking slowly and clearly and choosing every word carefully.

“So you too are to blame for this! You were the first to know about this!” said Rade in an almost whispering tone of voice. “You knew

about the arrest and everything and you hid it from all of us,” added Rade in a louder voice, for the first time daring to speak to his uncle in this tone of voice.

“Why did you say ‘you too’?” asked Slobodan inquisitively.

“Well, because I’m the second culprit who concealed the truth about Milan,” said Rade, with the voice of a defendant deciding to plead guilty… He then fell silent. He was silent, as if waiting for a second question from Slobodan. But that question wasn’t asked so he continued:

“I saw Milan in the hallway in front of my office at the police station... They were taking him for questioning. This was seven months after he had disappeared and no one seemed to know why or to where he had disappeared.”

“To the police station where you work? Why did they have to take him there where only criminals are investigated?” asked Slobodan surprised.

“At first I thought that he had been imprisoned as a criminal but Investigator Trajan told me that he had been brought in to face a criminal, so it was easier for them to bring Milan here,” explained Rade.

Slobodan seemed to be embarrassed by what Rade had told him. He seemed to be thinking about how to continue the conversation.

“The situation was tense in those days; it was boiling on all sides. Certainly some methods were used that shouldn’t have been used in other circumstances,” concluded Slobodan.

They kept driving in painful silence. Slobodan was the first to speak.

“Why didn’t Milan look at his situation, that he was left alone in the world and that he’d found a beautiful girl, from a wonderful family? He had everything good to live for. What the hell made him start looking for ways to destroy this country, the same country for which

his parents left their bones in the battlefields during the war,” said Slobodan angrily.

“I don’t believe he did anything so wrong to become an enemy of the country. One can say that he was a victim of his own naivety,” Rade subconsciously began to defend Milan.

“I don’t believe that he was so naïve. They don’t imprison anyone for no reason. He had to have expressed himself somewhere. In any case by doing so he also damaged your sister…” said Slobodan wanting to put the blame on Milan.

“If it were only my sister. We would all get sick because of her, because we see her failing. I can’t sleep day or night because of my guilty conscience. I have wondered hundreds of times - should I have told her that I had seen Milan in prison? Wasn’t it my fault that I’d kept silent about it? Maybe it would have been easier for her if I had told her. Perhaps she could have overcome her disappointment in him,” replied Rade.

“Enough. Why you are burdening yourself for nothing? It’s over and done with…” said his uncle rather nervously.

“No, it’s not over. Dushitsa is dying... little by little every day; her heart is getting worse and worse! It’s not over. I am her brother who loves her very much, who tried to spare her from the news that Milan was in prison. It’s like I took her life into my hands. I decided to keep the truth about Milan from her all those years. She found out about him only recently. Had I told her when I found out about him she could have fought for him. Or she would have accepted her situation much easier... No, I have to die before she does. I mustn’t outlive her. I wouldn’t be able to accept her death…” said Rade with a tone of despair in his voice.

“You’re exaggerating now. How can you be sure who will die when and from what? You seem to blame yourself a lot. By doing so you’re committing suicide, you’re destroying your health! Leave things to sort themselves on their own,” said Slobodan in an attempt to calm Rade.

“It appears like someone else is sorting our lives! You, Uncle, said… If the engagement took place… If Dushitsa married Milan… If he became a member of our family… Then they wouldn’t have jailed only him but they would have placed a noose around all of our necks. But isn’t what’s happening to us also, a noose? Yes, this is a noose from which there is no salvation!” said Rade with a sad look, which seemed to his uncle that he was about to start crying.

And as Rade continued to speak he began to sound more and more hopeless.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t see any meaning in my life. And the people, whoever you speak with will tell you they’re unhappy. Wherever you turn, whoever you look at, all you see is disappointment, darkness and fear in their face...” said Rade.

“Rade, you’re turning into a real pessimist. I took you with me to cheer me up, to keep me company. But instead, during this entire trip you’ve managed to find things that upset us both,” replied Slobodan in a rebellious tone of voice.

Rade seemed embarrassed. He began to apologize to his uncle but that didn’t help their mood.

When they arrived at the village they went straight to the People’s Board. Everyone in the office stood up and greeted them. Slobodan asked them if they had any problems and to update him on how the road construction was going. The road that passed through the village was being upgraded and electricity had been installed in the village. After they had their coffee the people gave them a bottle of homemade rakia wrapped in a newspaper. When they were done updating Slobodan on the construction status they shook hands and said their goodbyes. After that Slobodan and Rade went down the unfinished village road and headed for the city.

“You just came all the way to the village for this?” asked Rade cautiously.

“No politician should distance himself from the people if he wants to have authority, if he wants the people to respect him. People must

not feel forgotten, left to their own mercy. They all contributed as much as they could in the war against the fascists and occupiers. And now should we turn our backs on them? No. We let them do what they want,” replied Slobodan.

“Uncle, it would be great if every politician was like you! But, unfortunately, there are all kinds!” said Rade.

“If they want things to go well in the country they’ll have to change. But I want to ask you something else, and I want you to be sincere with me,” replied Rade’s uncle and went silent as if thinking how to ask the question.

“Do you want to change jobs? No problem, we’ll find something else for you to do...” said Slobodan.

Rade felt a tightness in his throat. He immediately thought that maybe some of his superiors weren’t satisfied with his work. Maybe they wanted to get rid of him. Rade began to blush and sweat ran down his forehead.

“My job isn’t easy. There are, of course, unpleasant moments but I’m used to it. I’ve been there for many years. I believe the chief has no objections with my performance,” said Rade.

“It has nothing to do with that... I thought you might be bored doing the same job…” replied Slobodan looking for a way to soften what he was proposing.

“No, there is no such job… But what is it that you don’t want to tell me? Did one of my superiors or colleagues complain to you about me?” asked Rade.

“Rade, who do you think I am? They are all small fish compared to me! Who would dare say a single bad word about my nephew? It’s impossible. I’m convinced they are very satisfied with you. I even think that you are very good at your job, but a person has to take care of their health. I didn’t bring you to the village here to make you sick. Do you understand me? You’ll have to learn to look after your health,” said Slobodan and patted him on the shoulder. “Your

work is secondary compared to your health and your life. You’ll need to start a family. I’d love to have some nieces and nephews.”

“There’s plenty of time for that. It’s difficult how things are going,” replied Rade and became sentimental.

“Yes and no. Your mother is sad. She says you don’t even have a girlfriend…” said Slobodan.

“What’s the matter with my mother? That’s all she thinks and talks about,” replied Rade.

“She’s right, you know! And another thing… Why do you distrust your construction workers? Where does that distrust come from? Why do you hang over their heads for so many hours every day? If they don’t do things right they’ll have do the job again, as simple as that…” said Slobodan trying to change the subject.

“Uncle, you don’t seem to understand what it’s like to deal with these kinds of workers. If I’m gone for only half an hour the work stops,” replied Rade.

“Is that what you think? Or are those the expectations you created. Why don’t you let me draft a tight contract with them stipulating that they have to work every day a certain number of hours, and if they breach the contract you don’t have to pay them,” said Slobodan.

“That’s how it works in principle but it’s different in practice. They behave like they work for free,” replied Rade.

“How many more months do you think it will take before you finish building the house?” asked Slobodan.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t believe it will be soon. It won’t be before the winter,” replied Rade.

“In that case Rade, you need to immediately hire someone to manage the construction, otherwise you will lose your health. I’m telling you seriously, I’m not kidding,” said Slobodan.

“I don’t have enough money to hire another person. Nothing will be completed if I run out of money,” replied Rade.

“It may look that way to you but what if you get sick? Then everything will go to hell. You should talk to your mother and sisters and find a person, or I can do that for you,” said Slobodan.

“I’ll see how it goes for a while and then I’ll decide,” replied. Rade and sighed.

“There’s nothing to see, you won’t be able to cope with the double burden for too much longer! I’m older than you and you should listen to me,” said Slobodan just as they arrived at his house. “I want to come in for a while and have a drink with your mother. I want to try out the rakia they gave us at the village and then I will go,” said Slobodan.

There was a knock on the door. Even before she opened it, Rade’s mother loudly said:

“So you went to the village without telling me, huh! I want you to know that I’m angry at you.”

“Yes we did because this was an official job. Please make some snacks and bring two rakia glasses. We brought some homemade rakia from the village. The real thing not these artificial ones we buy from the store,” said Slobodan.

“What two glasses, what about me? I’m not sick!” complained Rade.

“This rakia is not for young people. It’s not for women either but your mother is a peasant, she’s used to strong rakia,” replied Slobodan.

“Okay, we’ll give you some too, I’ll bring three glasses,” said Rade’s mother.

“This is really strong. And you know, they don’t just serve anyone this kind of beautiful rakia. This is reserved for us villagers,” said Rade’s mother after tasting it. “Unfortunately you can’t drink this stuff without a snack. I have some tomatoes and cheese. I will prepare them immediately,” she added.

“They’re waiting for me at home, I haven’t called them all day,” said Slobodan looking at his watch.

“They’re used to it!” said Stefka and laughed.

“You’re right, they are used to it,” agreed Slobodan.

After drinking his second glass, Slobodan got up, said goodbye and left.

“He’s a good man,” said Stefka about Slobodan after he left.

“You’re right. You should have seen how they welcomed him at the village! They were prepared to treat us to all kinds of food and drinks but he refused. We stopped and ate at a restaurant on the way. There were three hundred items on the menu. This place looked like one of those special restaurants, for important people, or as the people say, for politicians,” replied Rade.

“His children too are fed, thanks to the pre-prepared meals made in those special stores and restaurants. Especially after Vera and Dushitsa left his home. Slobodan wanted at least one of these girls to stay with them, to look after his children, but they didn’t want to. I think they were wrong. They would have enjoyed themselves there. Everything they needed would have been provided for them,” said Stefka.

“Everyone wants their independence, to have a life of their own. And they are right. Unfortunately Dushitsa is completely lost. Why don’t you call her more often? Don’t you see what’s become of her? She’s all skin and bones! If she doesn’t want to come here you go see her… more often,” insisted Rade.

“She doesn’t want to come here and she doesn’t want me to go there. She also stays away from her sister Vera. She’s not a child! I can’t take her by the hand and bring her here. She doesn’t want to go anywhere and she doesn’t want to see anyone. She is tormenting herself. Only God knows why. After so much waiting Milan is here now. She grieved for him for years but now she doesn’t even want to see him or consider him as an ordinary friend. Did he want to be imprisoned? No! It was fate. It had to be that way. Well, now at least they understand one another,” said Stefka in a tone of voice that showed that she didn’t believe what she, herself, was saying.

“Something that is so badly broken can’t be put back together. You should know these things better than me. Stop repeating the same thing over and over. I’ve heard this conversation a hundred times…” replied Rade rudely.

“One should be a little more caring and prepared to forgive. I don’t know who she takes after... But if we continue to do things this way, if we’re not prepared to overcome some things and make compromises, we will never be able to live with anyone. Dushitsa has shortened her years of life. If she’d come home to live with us I would have forced her to eat something. I would have cooked things she liked, maybe soup or something. Now we don’t know if she eats or not. I don’t understand how we became this way. Why did we separate from one another just after we’d gotten on our feet? Had you moved out I don’t know how I would have survived here alone. I would have gone back to the village,” said Stefka and adjusted and re-tied her head kerchief.

“Well, very nice for them to laugh at us villagers,” replied Rade.

“If your father had lived a little longer,” said Stefka, “it would have been different. But, he left us early...”

“Yes, he left us early. It would have been much easier for me had he been alive today. But that’s how things are. Let’s talk about something else, my head is starting to hurt,” replied Rade.

“You’re not going to work tonight, are you?” asked Stefka to change the subject.

“No. My uncle told the bosses to give me some time off for a few days. He has great authority everywhere. Not to say that they are afraid of him. No. They respect him a lot,” replied Rade.

As Rade’s mother began to collect the glasses, cups and saucers, Rade noticed that she was preoccupied.

“What’s the problem?” he asked her and gave her a hug over her shoulders.

“I’m concerned, son, I’m concerned. Do you know how many times I’ve regretted agreeing to let you leave home one by one? I don’t know what got into our heads to make your father and me leave our hearth. What were we missing there? Nothing! We had a happier time… happier. Maybe your father would have survived if we had stayed in the village. And your sister wouldn’t have met Milan and would have avoided all these problems. She would have had her health…” said Stefka and began to cry.

“Maybe you’re right to some extent. But in the village we would have been nobodies and nothings. Times have changed and people are looking to leave the villages,” replied Rade.

“I think we were fools. Life in the villages continues to be good for those who remained behind. But your uncle wanted to take you out of rural poverty…” said Stefka.

“It’s not so bad here in the city, mother…” replied Rade.

I’m not saying everything is bad here but bad things are happening to us here. You, at least should have settled down by now,” said Stefka.

“You are again telling me the same thing…” replied Rade and went to his room. His mother had upset him.

After he left Rade and his mother, his uncle decided to go and see Vera. He knew she was looking forward to seeing him. After he

rang the doorbell Vera opened the door. She was dressed like she was about to go out.

“Are you going somewhere?” asked Slobodan.

“No, I just got back from visiting Dushitsa,” replied Vera.

“How is she doing?” asked Slobodan.

“She’s not doing well. She has ruined her entire life over that one person. You know who I’m talking about,” replied Vera.

“I was under the impression that she had gotten over him a long time ago,” said Slobodan anxiously.

“That irritates me the most. I know that she still loves him and that she will always love him, but since he returned to her, some time ago, she has been even more distant. She simply can’t accept him,” replied Vera.

“Well, she shouldn’t. She’s done with him. They have no chance of getting together again. They have no life together. What will he be to her now? He should have been the one with the impaired health after everything that happened to him. Naturally she expected the same Milan she knew before he was sent to prison, but that obviously didn’t happen,” said Slobodan nervously as he paced around the room.

“You’re right! She is seriously ill. Her heart is in very bad condition. You probably haven’t seen her in a long time,” replied Vera.

“Do you know how many invitations I sent her to come over? To this day there is no call and no trace of her,” said Slobodan.

“This is what she has become. She runs away from everyone,” replied Vera in a sad tone of voice.

“Go convince her and the two of you come over to see us this weekend,” said Slobodan firmly.

“It will be hard, but please first tell me how it went with Rade?” asked Vera.

“On the way to the village we went to see an older doctor, a psychiatrist, who is my friend from school. We stayed there for a while and talked. He gave me a folder; there must be something about him in the folder. Let’s have a look…” replied Slobodan.

He opened the folder and read aloud several lines: Come to my clinic together without delay. Measures must be taken urgently. He needs to take medication…

“I knew that, Uncle,” said Vera and sighed. “Even though I’m a layman…”

“It is what it is? But how do we convince him to go to the clinic. We mustn’t tell him openly. But then again, we could make things worse. We could lose his trust. I don’t know what to do but we mustn’t delay. It’s very important to start talking, but who is going to start the conversation,” replied Slobodan.

“No one else could do it as good as you, Uncle. Maybe you should tell him that your friend the doctor wants to see him again. This time at his clinic,” said Vera.

“I don’t know if I will be able to but I’ll try. I have a bit of a problem with my conscience. I shouldn’t have allowed him to work with criminals. It turned out to be difficult for him. But who knew? He probably takes on more work than he can handle. I’ll have a talk with his superiors. To relieve him a little. I’m afraid the doctor may insist that he spend some time in the hospital,” replied Slobodan.

“Neither he nor my mother, I believe, would agree to such a thing. You know how people are about these kinds of hospitals. They have a bad reputation. But an illness is an illness,” said Vera with a tone of confidence in her voice.

“We’ll see. Let’s not say anything without knowing what the doctor will say. I have full confidence in him. I need to go now. They’ll beat me at home. I’ve been gone for days,” replied Slobodan.

“Thank you very much for everything. Say hello to everyone at home,” said Vera trying to smile but couldn’t.

Slobodan stopped walking for a moment, turned and asked:

“Will I ever see that husband of yours at home?”

“Not only you, but me too. I’m getting tired of looking for him in the pubs. He prefers the company of his friends above everything,” replied Vera.

Slobodan shrugged his shoulders and smiled. He walked away fast. The situation with Rade and Dushitsa was making life difficult for him. It was one of these rare difficulties one encounters in life. He felt helpless. Things seemed to be out of his control. He didn’t go straight home. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. It would be best if they were all asleep when he got home. He was sure Emilia, his wife, wouldn’t be asleep. She usually painted at night and slept during the day. He never thought he would marry an artist. But he had found her to be special and very interesting. And as the old people used to say, “It was his destiny to marry her”. She didn’t anger him, she didn’t irritate him but she wasn’t interested in anything, even in her own family. The family for her didn’t seem to exist. What did the children eat… did they have anything to eat… what did they wear… did they study… She didn’t seem to care. All this, it seems, had been erased from her consciousness. She thought that because their father had money he could simply solve all their problems. The children from a very young age had learned to live like that; they demanded everything of him. And what could he do? He acted like he was the only parent, like they had no other parent. He took everything upon himself. You couldn’t even argue with her. You just had to accept her as she was, or run away from her. He was sure, from the first days of their life together, that he would be unable to leave her. Even less now...

Why had he taken on all those things that he was aware would remain the same as he had found them... He was comforted by the feeling that his Emilia could have been worse. There were many bad women, quarrelsome, primitive, superficial, even drunkards. At least

his Emilia was none of those. She was also productive and, as her critics said, she didn’t paint so badly. The children were older now and seemed to manage on their own... And somehow life went on. But now the question was how would he solve this other thing with his nephew? It felt like a lump in his throat, from the moment he got the bad news from his psychiatrist friend who invited him and Rade to visit him at his work. And it must be done as soon as possible! That’s exactly what he’d said.

Two days later Rade’s telephone rang quite early in the morning. “Who can be so rude as to call at this hour in the morning,” mumbled Rade and nervously picked up the handset.

“Listen, I’m sorry for talking quietly. I don’t want my family to know about this. I want you to take me to the doctor immediately,” said the voice on the other side of the telephone, which Rade recognized. It was his uncle. Rade quickly straightened up in bed and asked:

“What is it? Is it something serious? Let me call an ambulance!”

“About it being serious, it seems to be serious. But let’s not make a lot of noise, take a taxi and come over. I’ll wait for you outside. Not in front of the house, a little further down the street,” replied Slobodan.

Rade got up immediately, got dressed, called a taxi and a few minutes later picked up his uncle at the agreed place. They went to the hospital. When they arrived in the courtyard Slobodan instructed the taxi driver to go to the entrance of the neuro-psychiatric clinic. Rade became very stiff. He looked at his uncle carefully, as if searching for an answer in his facial expression. Slobodan hadn’t told Rade why they were going there.

After Slobodan saw the puzzled look on Rade’s face he said, “My friend works there, the one we were with before we went to the village. I don’t trust any of the other doctors like I trust him.”

“Isn’t he a psychiatrist?” asked Rade with some hesitation in his voice.

“It’s one thing what he specializes in, and another what he’s like as a doctor. Before that and after that. And to tell you the truth all of us need a psychiatrist in these crazy times. You think you don’t need one and you may think I don’t need one, but we both do. Especially now when you have so much stress both at work and with building your house, and even with your family, it’s not wrong to talk to a good specialist.

When the taxi stopped Rade got out of the car but refused to take a single step towards the clinic entrance. He remained still even after his uncle took a few steps towards the door.

“Come on Rade, what are you thinking about? Why do you think I called you… to accompany me, of course!” said Slobodan in a convincing tone of voice.

But Rade wasn’t sure about that and wanted to tell his uncle. He wanted to tell him that all this wasn’t about Slobodan. It wasn’t that kind of illness his uncle had. He was pretty sure this was an intervention for him. Rade believed that his uncle, like some of the people at his work and some in his family, thought that Rade needed a psychiatrist! Rade wanted to turn around and run away and get out of the hospital yard. But the respect he had for his uncle stopped him from doing that. Finally he decided to go with Slobodan and face the doctor.

The famous doctor welcomed them warmly. “It’s great to see you again,” he said to both of them.

“I didn’t want to tell you yesterday but I haven’t been able to sleep for a long time. I think I might have a serious case of insomnia and some inner nervousness,” said Slobodan, speaking rather quickly.

“It doesn’t surprise me. People of all ages suffer from insomnia these days and who doesn’t suffer from nervousness? It’s not easy building a country! And don’t think that I don’t take pills myself. Whoever tells you they don’t take tranquilizers is lying to you. Especially in these more difficult and sensitive professions. I don’t know what Rade thinks, but I have the right to say that I take care of

my health. I take one tablet in the evening and one in the morning and I’m calm all day. I sleep like a baby all night,” replied the doctor.

“But don’t you doctors say that those pills are harmful?” asked Rade nervously.

“Yes, of course, if you take an excessive amount and without a doctor’s prescription,” replied the doctor.

Rade looked at the doctor with a confused look and then he looked at his uncle.