Noose – Chapter 13

Noose – Chapter 13

OMINOUS 1948 - facts and dirty aims... The CPG (Communist Party of Greece) created a Macedonian political family from the vigourous and venerable Macedonian families and then destroyed it and left the Macedonian home childless. The CPG leadership’s action to evacuate the children was motivated and explained as “the need to rescue the children from the horrors of war”; an act which was to be carried out at the request of the children’s own parents. So what does this mean? This means that the CPG, with help from the Macedonian organizations NOF (National Liberation Front) and AFZH (Women’s Anti-Fascist Front), acted on facts but with dirty aims.

To obtain a realistic and objective picture of the general Greek policy towards the Macedonians one has to understand that the Greeks have one singular policy towards the Macedonians regardless of which regime is in political power; be it the monarchists, republicans, liberal-democrats, authoritarians, communists, etc. Their aim is to destroy everything Macedonian; name, identity, language, culture, etc. The CPG, looking for a way to absolve itself from any responsibility for its unlawful “child-collection” program, a genocidal endeavour, made sure that it was a voluntary program and all decisions were made by the parents, regardless of how they were persuaded. So the CPG, as it had done with so many other important issues, worked through NOF and AFZH to convince the population that such an evacuation was necessary and used NOF and AFZH activists to convince parents to carry out the evacuation. But it quickly became obvious that “humanitarianism” was not CPG’s only motive. The CPG and DAG (Democratic Army of Greece) military leadership had other, hidden objectives for these children. The CPG needed these children as reserves for DAG to replace their parents as they were killed off in combat. Being unable to solve its recruitment problem inside Greece, as was the case in 1948, the CPG and main instigator of the Greek Civil War then turned to mobilizing the children. And as Plato once said: “The price good men pay for not participating in public affairs is that they end up being governed by ruined people.”

1.

It was already mid-March and preparations for collecting the children were under way, but the mothers whose husbands were away working in America and Australia had not received permission to send their children away. That last night no one knew what was hiding inside Lina Bogdanova’s soul. That day she was decently dressed and left the impression that she was a conscientious person and confident in herself. She was loyal, honest and very much attached to her husband Lambro who, at the time, was working in America. And for that reason she had to be very careful. “It is important that our husbands also have a say in this ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to send or not to send our children away,” she said to one of the AFZH activists. “There is nothing more sacred, there is nothing sweeter than to have your child with you, to stop your heart from wilting. I beg you… I cannot give my children away without the knowledge and consent of my husband Lambro. I can’t just give up my children and then run around like I’m crazy. Why did we give birth to them? For the Party?” she pleaded. “She is right,” another middle-aged woman shouted and pleaded. Others followed suit. Lina spoke openly and said the same thing to the AFZH activists and to all those who came to convince her: “Excuse me, my words may seem strange to you but that’s the way it is… It is better that my children die here with me than somewhere in Europe. I want my children, to whom I gave birth, to stay here, at home with me. I don’t want the communists and the people from the AFZH to take them away and destroy our family and our roots.” Lina became very, very bitter towards the AFZH activists when one of them said: “Lina, what is this all about?” and looked at her with a cold look in her eyes. “We and the Communist Party are fighting for the good of the people, for a better tomorrow. I think we Macedonians should be first in line to give everything we have and with that we will achieve freedom for all the Macedonian people.” Without hesitation Lina replied: “These people here, including myself, have watched what’s going on for years and it doesn’t seem to be the way you say it is, so please I don’t want to hear any more of your stories.” “You don’t believe the Party?” shouted the AFZH activist with a surprised look on her face. Lina replied: “We Macedonians don’t even know how far to go in this war to find the place where we belong. So why should I believe you? So that we can play victor and victim games? So that I will give you my children? What kind of people make willing sacrifices of their own children?! My grandfathers, grandmothers and all our people raised these children and now you want us to give them to the Party? As my father used to say about the suffering of our Macedonian people: “OUR CHILDREN ARE THE PILLARS OF OUR FAMILY, A GUARANTEE TO OUR SURVIVAL AND LIFE IN OUR ANCESTRAL HOMES!” concluded Lina. “Lina, come to your senses!” replied Donka, the AFZH activist.

2.

That fateful night, after the noise subsided in the village streets, all Lina could think about was how to save her children. She lit her kerosene lamp, sat on the bed and watched her children sleep while listening to the clock tick away the hours. “It’s three o’clock in the morning and it’s still dark outside,” she told herself. “I can escape with them into the night but I don’t know where to run. I might run into a patrol and then I will lose my children for sure. What terrible times are these when a person fears evil more than death...” She was not sure what to do. She did not want to make a mistake so she went to the icon of Sveta Bogoroditsa (St. Mary) and crossed herself. She prayed for her salvation… The same two thoughts kept creeping into her mind: “Why shouldn’t I do it? Why should I do it?” She quietly went to the fireplace. She felt very lonely and the loneliness around her was absolute but in the dark recesses of her mind there was a single desire that hurt even more, what to do about her children. She took the kettle off the tripod and spread out the blazing kindling. She took a few steps carefully, pausing to take a breath. The kettle with boiling water stopped gurgling. Lina went closer to her children and watched them sleep. Look how nice and peaceful they look sleeping, she thought to herself. Her thoughts continued to flow uncontrollably one after another. Sometimes she would unconsciously say: “Well? What are you waiting for? Only this way you can save your children...” Everything that she could not tolerate to watch or to respect in others was in her, the life in her heart was open and the transparent life in her soul was another world, mysterious... A mother reaching out to her children? Where does that “satisfaction, weakness, excitement” come from?... She stopped again and, looking confused, told herself: “I will decide! It will not be long... Their pain will pass faster than me losing them? I will not willingly give my children to those AFZH paupers to make soldiers of my children and push them to fight and force them to kill for their own interests... They killed my father because he was a priest. And what if they are maimed and crippled? But at least they will be alive…” She thought and wondered and her wonderings, like a thorn stuck in a healthy foot, would not stop pulsing. She hesitated and for a moment she forgot everything. “I should not be thinking of the worst. It will stay with me…, and before my husband I will remain faithful and true to my children… Exactly like that; consistent and reliable,” she said to herself. “When Lambro left for America he said to me: ‘Lina, I want you to bring up our children while I am away at pechalba (migrant work) making some money for our future…’ and now these damn paupers are making him into a fascist and an American spy...” She stopped talking to herself, the silence felt awkward. Lina shut her eyes but only for a moment to gather her strength and then suddenly she tipped the kettle and water spilled on the feet of her children. Then when she heard the sick and frightened screams, she fell on top of the children and spilled the rest of the boiling water on them and on herself. She screamed even louder and said to herself: “Maybe everyone will be better off if we are all dead...” Frightened, the children squeezed themselves into her lap, and she, powerless, gently and with tears in her eyes, kissed their burned feet, thinking to herself: “Who knows why it seems that way, but if I cry, it means that I behave like a good mother. And there is no reason to blame myself. And the children have no reason to be angry at me, they will stay with me...” “We love you... we will always love...” I could see it in their shining eyes, shining with unimaginable fear. “You are mine and no one is going to take you,” she said to them while repeatedly kissing their burns, even after their blisters broke and blood started pouring out. But worse than that was when, at dawn, she heard the different voices of the activists saying: “You wicked woman, what evil have your children done to you for you to do this to them?”

and she said to herself: “I did not kill them. They will be alive.”

3.

Sotir Gaidov, Lina’s brother suddenly appeared at her door. He directed his gaze at the bed where the scalded children were lying and saw the horror in their weeping eyes. He then sat across from his sister and wanted to personally hear the truth from her. Lina looked at him with wide open eyes and he addressed her with the words: “Sister, where were your eyes? What happened? Oh, the horror!” Lina, trying to hide her fear and motherly pain, said: “I do not know if I behaved properly... I may be cracking up!” Then suddenly she looked like a child, confused and embarrassed. “But I think you will understand,” she said. “How would you feel if they took something from you that you loved very much and you knew that they were going to do it in front of your eyes? I swear to God… If they take my children I will go mad… Perhaps I have sinned... I may be frantic but I will not give away my children. They are mine and Lambro’s who left me to bring them up and not to give them to anyone.” She was strong and persevered more than all the women in the village but she was unable to express her true feelings and explain her actions to her brother. “Oh, my brother, for a long time now our lives have not been in God’s hands but in the hands of our persecutors. So how can I give my children to the Communists who beheaded our old father Gligor Gaidov down at the brook and we found him robbed of his life just because he was a priest. Our father wronged no one, he was a priest who served God and prayed for all the people.” Puzzled by her rambling Sotir asked: “Sister, what exactly are you trying to tell me? I was told that you tripped, stumbled and spilled the kettle with boiling water. Is that true?... She gave him a strange look and with fear in her voice she said: “I am not giving my children to anyone... I watched over them all night.” The children began crying again but not as loud as when they were scalded. Their uncle Sotir looked at them with a sad look on his face and felt sorry for them. Their names were Elena and Mito. A woman dressed in a uniform stormed up the stairs and entered the room. It was the AFZH woman and she was accompanied by two activists who were planning tomorrow’s actions to collect the children and transport them to Yugoslavia and their mothers to the DAG front lines. The moment Donka, the AFZH woman, entered the room she started blinking her eyes reacting to the bright flames emanating from the blazing fire in the fireplace. The AFZH woman moved away from Lina so that she could have a better look at her and, as a concerned organizer of the holy struggle and accountable to the Party and to General Markos, make her assessment of the situation. After having had a good look at Lina she said: “We and the Communist Party are fighting for a better tomorrow. I think we Macedonians should be the first in line to give our best and by doing so we will achieve freedom for the Macedonian people. Only by doing our best can we guarantee that and show that our people are loyal to this holy war. For example yesterday, Temelkovski, the Trsie village teacher, collected all the children into a group and took them all the way to the border without any problems. Afterwards their mothers left to join the ranks of DAG, respecting the decisions of NOF, AFZH and the CPG.” After that the AFZH woman had some questions: “Have you alone decided to commit this heinous act or did someone, perhaps one of the enemies of our holy war, put you up to this? Is that it or is it something else? Tell the truth! Perhaps there was another woman with you? Everything you tell me will be kept in strict confidence. Perhaps she can help us with the investigation?” Hurt by the woman’s words, Lina closed her eyes and said: “You people destroyed our lives and now you want to take our children.” The AFZH woman looked at her with a cold stare and said: “It is stupid of you to talk like that. What could this possibly mean to you? You are only repeating the words of our enemies.”

She then nodded her head, gave a slight smile and, together with the other activists, left. Sotir, with his hands on his hips, stood there and watched the whole thing. Then shaking his head he pleaded with his sister to calm down. Finally, at dawn, when the village children were all taken away like lambs to the Yugoslav border, everyone calmed down and gave Lina odd stares. But disappointed by what they themselves had done, full of grief they found some hope in Lina’s decision not to give up her children.